What Is Sex Like In Your 30s? 17 Thirtysomething Women Describe Their Sex Lives In 5 Words Or Less

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At every age and phase of your life, your sex life is bound to be different. This may not be a bad thing — some things improve with age — or it may, indeed, be a bad thing if your sex life is not what you think it should be. Some experts say that women have a sexual peak in their 30s. Alfred Kinsey even wrote about this in his renowned book, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female. However, it was published in *1953*, so much has changed on the subject of sex and sexual peaks, of course! These days, other experts think that *any* age is a good one for the best sex ever. After all, why settle for less-than?

“We hear people reference a sexual ‘peak,’ but I prefer not to think of people limiting when they can have the best sex of their lives to a certain age,” Rachel Needle, Psy.D., licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in West Palm Beach, Florida, tells Bustle. “We can have great sex throughout our lives! The best sex we have usually has more to do with our comfort with our body and ourselves, including knowing and being able to ask for what we want and what feels good, feeling free and connected to ourselves sexually, feeling confident, and, for many, connection to our partner. Our sexual peak can occur at any age and is a result of a combination of factors, including biological (including hormonal), interpersonal, and psychological.”

I agree that your satisfaction with your sex life really is *up to you*. Yes, a lot of factors may come into play: Are your sex partners significant others, hookups, or something in between?! Is sex fun, does it vary, or is it just a chore?! So how do 30-something-year-old women feel about their sex lives? Here’s what I found out.

1. Cyndi, 38
“Standard at best.”

2. Roxanne, 33
“Unexpected, since no boyfriend now.”

3. Candice, 37
“Playful, fun, addictive!”

4. Ali, 39
“One word: kids!”

5. Heidi, 35
“Alive; life is short!”

6. Sarah, 38
“Depends on who I’m with!”

7. Tammy, 36

8. Steph, 39
“Turbulent (not in good way).”

9. Margo, 33
“Nothing special.”

10. Valerie, 35

11. Cathy, 36
“Kids — who has the time?!”

12. Kate, 39
“Shocked when it happens.”

13. Ajah, 32
“Non-existent — higher standards now!”

14. Mistress Alisa, 34
“Amazing — I’m Dominant/in charge.”

15. Jasmine, 25
“Average or below average.”

16. Liz, 37

17. Beth, 38
“Viagra, anyone (everyone I date!)?”

As you can see, sex varies for the above women in their 30s. However, as Dr. Needle says, I think settling for subpar sex isn’t necessary. There are ways to improve your sex life, like by trying new things and building intimacy outside of the bedroom, as Sarah Mandel, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle. And wouldn’t you rather try to improve it than settle for average sex?!